Dialysis

I sometimes got to have nights where I actually feel like a nurse instead of a rushed robot at this one hospital I worked at. You know, the nights where you actually get to chat a little bit with your patients. I had this one gentleman who was in for......actually I forget why he was in the hospital. But I do remember he had received a kidney transplant and his body ended up rejecting it about a month prior. He was back to getting dialysis 3 times a week.
As a nurse, I take care of dialysis patients all the time. But only until this night did I truly realise how much it sucks to be on dialysis. I had taken care of this man, I'll call him Fred, the night before. His wife and some family were there and the wife stayed the night. They seemed to want to spend some time together so I kept my visits in the room fairly short.
The next night he seemed a little bummed. I went about my assessment and asked where his wife was. He told me she was on vacation with his and her family in the Caribbean.
I said, "Without you?"
He sort of half smiled and he told me about how they had saved up and planned for this vacation for a year and a half. Every one in their family was going. He and his wife had been ecstatic and had been counting down the days the whole time. He had not been on a vacation in many years due to the restraints of dialysis. The plans were made long before his kidney failed and though they checked in to it, they could not afford to have him dialised during the vacation. Insurance wouldn't pay and the cost was astounding. I believe he told me it was well on in to the thousands each dialysis.
His wife protested about going without him, but he "made her go" and told her to enjoy herself. I told him I was so sorry he was missing the trip. He just gave me that half smile again and said, "Yes but I am alive."
The rest of the night, he was awake every time I went into the room to check on him. He was in a somber mood, but still so polite. I really got to thinking about how awful it must be to have to go through hours of dialysis almost every other day. How time consuming and I would just feel trapped or something. I would also be a royal bitch, even though I don't really want to admit it.
But just imagine all the planning and the excitement. He said he'd always wanted to go there. Only to have it diminish the moment you find out you have to go back on dialysis.
No, I don't know if I could take it so well. I hope Fred gets another kidney and gets to take lots of vacations. Hey-maybe he already has! I can only hope so.