Priapism

I had only been a nurse on my own for about a month. I get in the report the patient is a 30-something male with sickle cell and priapism. I tried to rack my brain and couldn't remember so I had to ask about the priapism part. She told me and I was like"AWWWWWW man! Can't you give him to someone else? I don't want to deal with "privates". She tells me I don't have to examine it and I feel better....Until I walked into his room.

He is very angry, pacing around his bed. I try to keep my eyes on his eyes. He is yelling about this and that and I am not quite following what exactly it is he is angry about. I am hearing about his dissatisfaction with the hospital food, he's run out of cigarettes, he can't get in touch with his baby momma, there aren't enough stations on the TV, ...you get the idea. I don't talk, I just listen thinking maybe he just needs to vent.

Then he does it. He stops right in front of me and to my horror he pulls up his gown as he yells, "AND WHEN ARE THEY GONNA COME AND FIX THIS! THIS SHIT IS GONNA FALL OFF!" I have never in my life before or since seen anything so huge and ridiculously swollen. I hadn't wanted to look, but he left me no choice.
"Um, sir.....I will be happy to call the doc and find out when they will be here"

Doc was at the desk and laughs when he sees my bright red face approaching him.

Doc says with a chuckle, "I heard and I am on my way"

Apparently he was preparing to do something to "it" that had something to do with a needle and I was very glad he did not require assistance from ME.